How to be assertive?

Learn basics of assertiveness

Art consciously denying an extremely valuable skill, assertiveness in everyday life is simply invaluable. It helps build valuable relationships with the environment, significantly improves quality of life. There are many techniques for developing assertiveness.


Practicing assertiveness requires us a deep self-examination. Familiarization with articles is a good nucleus, but does not solve the problem. Ways of speaking firm does not need to practice. Natural assertiveness requires confidence in their own beliefs, recognizing the borders of another human being.

Exercises on assertiveness

Improving assertiveness and polishing their skills in this field, we become braver and more confident in social contacts. The person conducts education on the issue of assertiveness usually has its origin in the technique stripped off the plate. A simple technique of repetition of the refusal, and eventually will go into the consciousness of the caller.

When you meet someone extremely resistant to refuse our technology may not produce satisfactory results. The confrontation with someone deaf to all logical arguments can be very tiring. Usually in such relationships feel a constant sense of guilt, we need to face the accusations and only with an assertive attitude we are able to regain his balance.

The confrontation with the manipulator

The first step to success is to grant to himself, that we are the victim of manipulation. The constant denial, and constant repetition I can not do for you, have a lot of other tasks on the head of every solicitation requires endurance. Being in its assumption is extremely difficult, so you should approach this task as to craft and hone skills every day.

Using frequent formulation can not sometimes the other party an opportunity to continue the discussion, because our decisiveness happens in this case, extremely important. Confronted with the manipulator recommend to disable the arguments on the other hand, in this way ugasimy remorse. In a constructive refusal most important thing is not clear and factual justification.

Settling for anything but the desire to avoid one's dissatisfaction, causing frustration within ourselves. Assertiveness is a trait to develop, lifelong shaping itself in such attitudes. Suitable techniques will allow us to develop the skills of recitation.

What to remember when speaking NO

Firstly, any consent or refusal should flow from actual feelings. Being honest is the key relationships. Inventing justifying stories is often tempting, but causes more problems than benefits. How much truth is to say that the greatest comfort in life is not to have to lie?

Mice and concrete answer does not necessarily have negative overtones. Refusing politely not urazimy anyone. Give an expression of the fact that it is you are asked to help, but firmly introduce its position on the case. We can always refuse without hurting anyone.

Assertiveness is precisely to maintain the balance between being submissive and being aggressive. Life is not black and white in most situations is an appropriate selection, sometimes we need to compromise, sometimes hard to defend their case.

Assertiveness is not only the art of recitation

Assertiveness has several layers, not just the ability to deny, it is also the attitude in which we can consciously accept praise and criticism. It is also the ability to ask for help without feeling guilty. At the base of assertiveness is the belief that everyone has the right to be themselves and make individual decisions.

Remember, too, that the earned assertive behavior is a complex process, the origins difficult, surprised environment may react unfavorably for our behavior. With time implemented mechanisms will come quite naturally and no longer arouse discomfort.